Lady Gaga's red-carpet history is among Hollywood's most eccentric, with everything from meat dresses to mesh naked gowns in the mix. But when the singer wears those crazier looks, she isn't actually feeling that confident in them, she explained to Billboard this week; "There's always a dichotomy within me. If you see me dressing really out there, I tend to be self-deprecating inside. When I dress like a lady, I tend to be feeling very wild and confident. That sounds bizarre, but I get a lot of sh*t done with that blond hair. I haven't changed. It's just that I'm almost 30. I'm learning how to function effectively in society."
This is in part because Gaga has struggled with depression and anxiety, "my entire life; I still suffer with it every single day," she said. Her Born This Way Foundation was founded to help teens going through it. "I just want these kids to know that that depth that they feel as human beings is normal. We were born that way. This modern thing, where everyone is feeling shallow and less connected? That's not human."
Gaga also opened up about recovering from her own assault—an experience she tapped into to write and perform 'Til It Happens to You for other survivors. "The hardest part for me was the self-acceptance," she said. "There's an inability to acknowledge to yourself, 'Not only did this happen, but I'm pretty f—ed up about it.' And nobody knows how you feel. I didn't tell anyone [about my assault] for years—and I didn't tell anyone for years because I didn't tell myself for years. And my soul just burnt out until it was gone. And then you have to admit you were in pain, and that you died in a way, but you are in control to bring it back, and there are people in the world who'll help you."
Via Harper's Bazaar US