Adele has opened up about her battle with post-natal depression, after giving birth to her son, Angelo, in 2012.
She says the experience has deterred her from having another child.
"I'm too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me," she told Vanity Fair, adding that she didn't take anti-depressants. "But also, I didn't talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant… My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, 'F*** that, I ain't hanging around with a f****** bunch of mothers.'"
However, actually she found the company of other new mothers really helpful.
"Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they're a bit more patient," she said. "You'll be talking to someone, but you're not really listening, because you're so f****** tired. My friends who didn't have kids would get annoyed with me, whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn't judge each other."
The musician said that the stereotypes of post-natal depression and its well-known extreme cases stopped her from identifying with it. The NHS cites that more than one in 10 women suffer from PND.
Symptoms include a difficulty bonding with the baby, but also a persistent feeling of sadness, a lack of enjoyment/interest in the world, lack of energy and concentration shortage.
"One day I said to a friend, 'I f****** hate this,' and she just burst into tears and said, 'I f****** hate this, too.' And it was done. It lifted," she said. "My knowledge of postpartum — or post-natal, as we call it in England — is that you don't want to be with your child; you're worried you might hurt your child; you're worried you weren't doing a good job.
"But I was obsessed with my child," she added. "I felt very inadequate; I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life. It can come in many different forms."
Adele found that making time for herself helped her manage her depression.
"Eventually I just said, I'm going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*** I want without my baby," she said. "A friend of mine said, 'Really? Don't you feel bad?' I said, I do, but not as bad as I'd feel if I didn't do it. Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they thought everyone would think they were a bad mum, and it's not the case. It makes you a better mom if you give yourself a better time."
For more information about post-natal depression and for support, visit Out Of The Blues.
Via Harper's Bazaar UK