Ruwaida Abela Northen: Why Did Menopause Become The M Word?

Bazaar Arabia columnist Ruwaida Abela Northen on changing menopause misconceptions for the good of all womankind

There is a monster in the closet. A dark figure that lurks just out of sight, its name whispered in hushed tones, its presence looming over every woman long before she ever meets it: menopause.

For many years, it felt distant, something that happened to other women – older women. But now, having entered into my forties, I can feel myself walking closer to the door; and it is slightly ajar. Beyond it lies a world I have been conditioned to fear, a world so scary it is literally labelled ‘The Age of Despair’ in Arabic. But the closer I get, the more I wonder if we have been looking at this all wrong?

The phrase is so fatalistic, so final, it might as well be a death sentence. As though a woman, upon crossing this biological threshold, must now surrender to sorrow, slip into irrelevance, and shrink into the background of her own life.

However I refuse to accept the idea that a woman, simply because she no longer bleeds, is sentenced to oblivion. That her vibrancy, her essence, her joy, and her desire have an expiration date. That she is to be quietly folded away, her role in the grand play of life diminished to nothing more than a shadow act.

For years and years, women have been conditioned to see menopause as a decline. A loss. A silent retreat into invisibility. In reality, it is an awakening, an unburdening, a becoming. The body is simply closing one chapter so that the mind, heart, and soul can begin another.

Through unspoken lessons we have been taught to treat it like a private battle instead of a shared experience. But there is no shame in change. No shame in our bodies evolving. No shame in needing support, in demanding better healthcare awareness, in asking questions, in refusing to blend into the wall. Why should we face this transition quietly, as though it is something we must endure alone? Why should we be too ashamed to ask for help and guidance, to speak about what we are going through?

What if we embraced this transformation the way we do other rites of passage? What if we spoke of menopause the way we speak of adolescence, not as an ending but as an evolution? Beneath the physical symptoms, there is a truth: menopause is the moment when a woman steps into herself unburdened. There are no more periods to schedule around. No more fears of pregnancy. It is a time when a woman can finally be herself.

I think of the women I admire most – business leaders, artists, thinkers, writers – many of whom only reached their full power after 50. I think of the confidence of a woman who has seen the world, who has nothing left to prove. I think of the fire that still burns, the curiosity that remains, the hunger for new experiences that does not weaken with age but sharpens with time. So why are we afraid?

Words matter. When we call something despair, we brace for sadness instead of preparing for possibility. We need new words. New stories. We need to hear from women who have walked through this fire and emerged stronger, lighter, freer. We need to stop whispering about menopause as though it is something to hide, something to endure in silence.

It is the era of unfiltered laughter, of long conversations that stretch into the night without worrying about tomorrow. It is the age of knowing your worth, of understanding your value. It is the age of wearing whatever you want, of speaking your mind without apology, of saying yes to what excites you and no to what and who drains you.

Why, then, do we not call it ‘The Age of Emancipation?’ Or ‘The Age of Light’? Why do we not rewrite the narrative and reclaim the experience?

Menopause is not the end of youth. It is the beginning of something else. So I’ll keep an eye on that door – but I am not afraid of the day I walk through it and vanquish the monster.

From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia May 2025 Issue.