The Art Of Turning 40: Why We Must Create, Connect And Contribute

Aidan O’Brien, an executive coach and keynote speaker working with Fortune 500 companies and global high-growth start-ups shares his philosophy on turning 40, and how to make this the decade you truly take the lead…

I believe that when we turn 40, we have reached our “productive prime” and from ages 35-55, it is our time to truly create and innovate in our lives. In fact, I believe there are three essential things we must do to feel truly aligned, lead effectively, and thrive through 40 and beyond. We must: create, connect and contribute.

The ‘this is me’ myth

Sometimes by the age of 40, many have stopped creating and fall into the trapped conclusion of “Well, this is me.” But it’s not you! You can create and innovate at any age, and it’s incredibly important to continue creating through 40 and beyond. Entering your fifth decade, you have most likely overcome many challenges and difficulties already. You also have well-earned expertise and at this stage of your professional life you have developed a deep knowledge and skills – things you have learned and mastered far beyond the 10,000 hours. By age 40, you know who you are enough to trust yourself, and if not, it should be a priority to start getting to know yourself now.

Connection over confinement

For me, 40 is the best time to get back into creative mode and ensure you are still aligned with what you do best and what you enjoy doing most. The connection part takes effort. The first ten years of building businesses and working independently, I found myself becoming less sociable. After more than a decade of being everywhere and doing everything, suddenly I didn’t want to be anywhere except home. But luckily my self-awareness is developed enough to know that that type of isolation doesn’t serve us, and it definitely won’t help us succeed and lead at a high level. The key to success in business are high level relationships or what I call strategic partnerships, so connection is a key part of your ongoing success, not to mention for your mental health and general enjoyment of life – social connection is key.

Be of service to others

Then the last element – contribution – I believe the secret to greatness is to be of service to others. Early on in our life we are thinking of number one, but no matter what we do, if we want to be great, and if we want to truly create and become a person of influence, we must contribute and be of value to the marketplace.

I think these 3 elements – create, connect and contribute – are key philosophies to embody and embrace as leaders, and as we move through 40 and beyond, we are positioned perfectly to lead from the front, and by example. 40 should fuel you. 40 is freedom. 40 is still being young enough to have the energy, attitude and agility to reach and have an impact on the younger audience, and it’s also mature enough to be respected by your peers for your experience and expertise.

Define your vision

An important exercise at 40 is to recheck your vision. By now you have accomplished a lot of what you wanted in your 20’s – but where to now? Do you just stay in 4th gear cruising, or do you take inventory of your life and identify areas where you have lost momentum? The law of entropy is when things are left to themselves, they move more and more towards disorder. In other words, if you don’t use it, you lose it. What you neglect, neglects you back. 

So, recreating your vision is a key part of staying invigorated at 40. Setting a clear intention for the next decade – where are you going? Who are you becoming? What do you want to accomplish? 40 is truly the new 25. It’s not about slowing down – it’s about aligning fully and going full speed. 

Don’t hide from big targets and big dreams

What I do with my clients – whether they are senior executives, founders or business owners, is create a vision for a day in the life 3-5 years from now, across all aspects of life. What will excite you? What would the visionary version of you choose? However, beware of the realist creeping in. If you’re 40 and a leader, you are already living a visionary life so it’s important to not hide from big targets and big dreams. 

I love helping clients create a vision so big that to achieve it would require them to completely transcend their old self. Because what got you here won’t get you there. What got you here won’t even keep you here. The world is changing, fast, and your old story won’t help you reach your new standards. When designing your day-in-the-life vision, it should be emotionally charged; it should move you. Let yourself be pulled and magnetised by a big vision – that, is what 40 is all about.

Imagery courtesy of Shutterstock