How to Slow Down: Clinical Psychologist Dr. Saliha Afridi Shares 5 Tips On Finding Balance in A Fast-Paced World
The managing director of The LightHouse Arabia and Bazaar Arabia’s columnist explores how life in the slow lane can redefine both happiness and success
The other day I was driving down the highway, rushing and frustrated that cars were not moving as fast as they should, when, suddenly, I realised I was speeding but I had nowhere to be. I was just headed home, no one was waiting for me, and no appointment was being delayed, I was simply rushing because that’s all I have ever done – drive in the fast lane. Accelerating at high speed, narrowly dodging obstacles, eyes peeled on the destination, I hurry from one point to another, arriving at the destination early or on time but missing the scenery, the subtle shifts in the landscape, and even my fellow travellers.
And this goes beyond being behind the wheel. I’ve spent my life living in the fast lane – living life urgently. I am well-acquainted with the hustle of a Type A personality, the constant reaching for new heights, the relentless ticking of to-do lists, and the seemingly endless ladder of personal development. But this sudden realisation on the road of “Why am I in such a rush?” made me stop in my tracks and reconsider. Sure, I have done a lot, but how much can I remember? How much do I stop to celebrate the wins of the day? How much do I notice the beauty of the moment when
I am rushing to finish the project or the checklist? So I have decided to set a fourth quarter of the year resolution for myself to do life a little bit differently – I am going to drive in the slow lane.
The slow lane isn’t just about reducing speed, it’s about shifting our perspective toward life. It’s about noticing the details, the simple, and still moments. Just as in the car, when your speed slows down, the rush of air slows to a gentle breeze and the world becomes less of a blur and more of a painting, when we slow down in life, each detail becomes more vivid and rich. When you aren’t in a hurry you notice the subtleties and depths of each moment – like the vibration of the laughter of a loved one, the distinct smell of fresh rain, the crisp pages of a new book, the warmth of a shared glance, or the beauty of a blooming flower.
And for all those concerned, slowing down is not synonymous with complacency. It’s about quality over quantity, depth over breadth. It’s about making thoughtful choices rather than racing through the decision making process. Slowing down invites a balanced life, allowing us to engage with our work passionately without compromising our health or relationships. And this is the very heart of the slow lane – balance.
How To Slow Down: 5 Tips On Finding Balance in A Fast-Paced World
1. Live mindfully
I am not talking about meditating for 15 mins and then rushing through life. Here I am presenting the art of being completely present in the current moment. Whether you’re working, eating, or spending time with loved ones, try to be wholly engaged. This includes putting away distractions like smartphones or other gadgets. Paying attention to the task at hand and to the people around you. Showing up with your whole being – mind and body. Even taking photographs with your five senses and absorbing the textures, flavours, sounds, and sensations.
2. Connect with nature
Nature inherently follows a slower pace. Trees take decades to grow, flowers bloom in their own time, and rivers flow at their steady pace. Spending time in nature, going for hikes, gardening, or even just sitting in a park can help align our rhythm with nature’s serene pace. This connection can be incredibly soothing and a powerful reminder of the benefits of a slower life.
3. Live intentionally and be choosy about your experiences
In the race of life, we can often equate success with the amount we can achieve or acquire. However, living in the slow lane encourages focusing on the quality of our experiences and possessions rather than their number. Schedule fewer things in your day and really choose experiences that are enriching, relationships that are nourishing, and possessions that truly add value to your life. Be intentional about where you spend your time, money, and energy.
4. Learn to say no
I am separating this out from living intentionally because it warrants its own section. When the world is fast-paced, and there are hundreds of things being launched, premiered, attended, and shared, it is very normal to feel FOMO (fear of missing out) as you are choosing your experiences slowly and deliberately. Many temptations and invitations will be made, and in those moments without even wanting to, you will get sucked right back up into the rushed pace. Have questions that you can ask yourself before you say yes to something. One such question is: If I say yes to this, what will I be saying no to? It’s a quick reminder that time and energy are finite and where you choose to spend it will determine your experience.
5. Drive in the slow lane
This is exactly what it sounds like – drive in the slow lane. This means you have to leave early enough to enjoy the journey and not be rushing from place to place. As you drive in the slow lane pay attention to the trees, the clouds, and the passing vehicles and see if you can savour and appreciate the journey and not just focus on arriving at the destination. This will also help you train your patience as you accept that good things often take time, and not everything needs to be rushed.
I want to be clear, the slow lane doesn’t devalue ambition or success; instead, it redefines them. It highlights the importance of well-being and contentment alongside achievement. It’s not a deterrent to growth, but a facilitator of sustainable, mindful progress. In essence, living life in the slow lane reminds us that life is not a race, but a long road trip – an adventure best enjoyed at a pace that lets you appreciate its beauty and learn from its challenges.
“Slowing down is not synonymous with complacency. It’s about quality over quantity, depth over breadth.”
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s September 2023 issue
Lead image courtesy of Unsplash (Cristofer Maximilian)