Surrogacy and The UAE: All Your Questions Answered
From the laws surrounding surrogacy in the UAE to which celebrities have had baby via surrogate, Bazaar Arabia shares everything you need to know
“I have a huge file on it, but I don’t want to talk about it on record,” divulged a friend who has had multiple children via surrogacy, and is comfortable discussing it with others contemplating the process, but still worries about the stigma associated with it given traditional family structures and attitudes prevalent in the region.
Thanks to advances in medicine, couples have many choices when it comes to their decisions about starting a family. And, given so many high-profile celebrities are having children via surrogacy, that option – which until now was shrouded in secrecy – has started to come firmly in the spotlight. However, for those thinking of going down this route, there are many things to consider as the system is more complex for those residing in the Middle East and the process isn’t as straightforward as it might look at first.
If you are looking to have a baby via surrogacy, here are some factors to focus on.
Surrogacy And The UAE: All Your Questions Answered
What does it mean to have a child through surrogacy?
Surrogacy is an agreement whereby a woman carries and gives birth to a baby on behalf of another person or couple. This method is usually used when the aspiring mother cannot have a child due to medical reasons.
Traditional surrogacy is when the carrier is genetically related to the baby – as her eggs are used in the process and she is artificially inseminated.
Gestational surrogacy only uses the surrogate’s womb – she has no genetic link to the child – as embryos made via IVF from either the mother’s egg or donor eggs are implanted in her.
Is it expensive to have a baby through surrogacy?
Some countries have legal provisions for surrogates to be financially compensated, while in other countries it is only permitted to pay for medical and child-related expenses for the duration of the pregnancy. The latter encourages altruistic surrogacy, which is done because the surrogate wants to help others struggling to conceive and carry a child to term.
Does the surrogate have to be a stranger?
No, in some instances family members also offer to be surrogates, and this usually falls into the altruistic scenario.
Which celebrity couples have had children via surrogacy?
Recently Indian actress Priyanka Chopra and her husband Nick Jonas made headlines when they announced: “We are overjoyed to confirm that we have welcomed a baby via surrogate.”
The A-listers didn’t divulge why they opted to go down this route, though there was speculation that their busy schedules made it difficult for the two to conceive, rather than there being a medical necessity.
Perhaps the most cited couple who were open about their journey were Kim Kardashian and Kanye West who had both Chicago, 4, and 3-year-old Psalm via surrogacy. Two different surrogates were used for the birth of their third and fourth children, with Kim confirming that she used a ‘surrogate therapist’ to help navigate the mental health challenges associated with the method.
Other famous names who have had children via this process include Alec and Hilaria Baldwin, Elon Musk and Grimes, Benji Madden and Cameron Diaz, and Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.
Model Tyra Banks, who welcomed her son York in 2016 shared her thanks to the woman who helped facilitate her becoming a mother. The Smize ice cream entrepreneur wrote at the time: “As we thank the angel of a woman that carried our miracle baby boy for us, we pray for everyone who struggles to reach this joyous milestone.”
Is surrogacy legal in the UAE?
“Surrogacy is a complex area of law, and it is important to note that the rules and laws relating to surrogacy differ from one country to the next. In the UAE, as with several other countries, surrogacy is against the law,” Alexandra Tribe, Managing Partner at Expatriate Law told Harper’s Bazaar Arabia.
“Families living in the UAE that wish to have a child via surrogacy must do so overseas. In other countries, surrogacy is legal but each country has different rules as to how birth mothers should be remunerated, and how the resulting child’s parentage is considered. It is important for couples to understand that weighty legal implications of entering to a surrogacy arrangement. Careful research should be undertaken in all potential jurisdictions,” she added.
Alexandra shared some key legal questions to consider, adding a note of caution that “these are very emotive questions, and need careful consideration in a legal, social and ethical context.”
1. When the child is born, who are the parents on the birth certificate?
2. If the birth mother, how are the adoptive parents to be placed on the birth certificate?
3. Will the birth certificate be recognised in the adoptive parents’ country of residence, their home countries, and future jurisdictions that they may live in?
4. How can a passport be obtained for the child following birth?
5. Who makes a decision about the child’s welfare in utero?
6. What happens if the child is born with a disability or birth defect?
Despite her note of caution, Alexander is happy to help those wanting to follow this path saying, “I am fully supportive of women being able to have a child through surrogacy, when for medical reasons they could not give birth themselves, and where the surrogacy has been arranged within the remits of the law. In the last decade, there has been a huge increase in successful women pursuing their careers before starting a family. This has inevitably impacted on fertility.”
What other factors should one consider when going down the surrogacy road?
Mental health counseling, for both the aspiring parents and for the surrogate, is of paramount importance.
“Surrogacy is often considered after other infertility treatments have been tried and exhausted. Couples have wished and hoped to have their own biological baby and carry it themselves. They have strong narratives governing how they will become parents which have to be put aside with care,” Tara Wyne from Lighthouse Arabia explains. “Couples really need to come to terms with surrogacy personally as it can externalise a pregnancy from them which is challenging on many levels. Both parties in the couple must have buy in and clear expectations. There are important permutations to consider; are both parties contributing genetic material to the surrogacy? Or are donor egg or sperm required. When donor material is used, again it represents realities which need to be explored and cared for.”
“We see that surrogacy is something that forces couples to have to share very private and sensitive news with others even if the couple aren’t totally ready for that. The reality is a woman will not look pregnant but suddenly there will be a baby, the couple has to thoughtfully navigate what they wish to share and with whom. The issue most rarely shared pertains to is whose genetic material the surrogate is carrying.”
What is the healthiest way to navigate the process as a couple?
“In my experience couples need to participate as actively as possible in the surrogacy process, tracking the stages of development of their baby, giving themselves permission to have reasonable levels of influence over the surrogate in terms of pregnancy health and lifestyle choices,” advises Tara.
She adds that “The couple should allow themselves regular check-ins as individuals and as a couple as to their hopes, fears, concerns. Gratitude at being able to have a baby shouldn’t disallow vulnerability. ‘Will we feel connected to our baby? Will the baby resemble us, what should we tell the baby about the pregnancy process and when…’
“Parents-to-be in surrogacy should integrate this reality into their lives in a way that mirrors a normal biological pregnancy, considering how their lives will change, preparing their home and equipping themselves, having a baby moon, this creates coherence and congruence when the baby finally arrives.
Tara ends on a high note: “Having worked with women navigating infertility for years, I see the deep desire to have a baby and start a family counterbalances the challenges. Couples love their babies so deeply when they have fought so hard to bring them into their lives.”
Image courtesy of Unsplash (Camylla Battani; Anna Hecker and Liv Bruce)