Should You Invite Children To Your Wedding?
Crying outbursts during ceremonies, chit-chatting during speeches – should children make it onto a wedding guest list? Travel and wellness journalist Leo Bear thinks not…
Many will say children are a key component of weddings. They bring joy; make the proceedings feel relaxed and fun. But don’t be fooled by the scenes in Four Weddings and a Funeral – perfect children on the dancefloor in their best clothes – the reality is often very different. Allow me to share a scene from last summer. Two hundred of us gathered at a hillside vineyard in Tuscany to celebrate the union of a British TV director and his Finnish muse. Everyone was having a fabulous time, reconnecting with old friends and sipping vintage champagne until one particularly exuberant guest took the hands of a three-year-old child and swung them up into the air, dislocating said child’s shoulder. Safe to say, it put an abrupt end to the festivities for one distressed couple, and as for the hapless chap who caused the affliction, well, let’s just say, it’s still awkward.
Of course, this was a one-off event. An isolated incident. Or was it? At the risk of being alarmist, studies show that the risk of injury goes up the larger the gathering. Small children, trailing foliage, ornate candelabras, fireworks…I get it. Flower girls and page boys are absolutely delightful but having some (carefully selected) children in your wedding party does not oblige you to open the floodgates to your guests’ progeny. Next thing you know, you’ll be setting up play zones, laying on kids’ meals and hiring a fleet of TikTok entertainers.
Newborns notwithstanding, I urge you to encourage your guests to attend your big day as unencumbered as possible. The fewer the responsibilities, the more fun everyone will have and as bride and groom, you deserve your guests’ undivided attention for just one day.
Ultimately, no one wants to hear a baby crying or a toddler throwing a tantrum during the special moments (the ‘I dos’ and the speeches). You don’t get these moments back. As for that bespoke scent you created for your special day, trust me, it’s going to go from eau de decadence to eau de derriere the moment the nappy brigade troops in…
Of course, parents will argue they’ll come prepared. They’ll have everything they could possibly need to keep disruption to a minimum, be that an electric hands-free pump or the latest designer sling for witching hour.
I’ve got a better idea. A polite little note on the invitations that says ‘children under 12 not welcome’. See you on the dancefloor.
From Harpers Bazaar Arabia’s Bride Autumn/Winter 2024 Issue