My Week At A Post-Natal Retreat
What if after you gave birth you were just as looked after as the baby? Editor in Chief Olivia Phillips visits Blissful Beginnings, the UAE’s first post-natal retreat, to experience what the fourth trimester could – and should – be like
“Remember to breathe,” a kindly – if unnervingly attuned – reiki practitioner is telling me after our session. She has also just offered to give me a hug – something I obviously seem
like I need.
I’m eight weeks into first-time motherhood and, while things are generally going well, the tidal wave of emotion, hormones, sleep deprivation and a body attempting to heal itself has still knocked me flat. Throw in the enormity of a brand-new identity to grapple with, and a hug sounds quite nice right about now. Rana, the wonderful soul who has just finished our 90-minute appointment in my suite at the Mandarin Oriental, Jumeira, is offering some much-needed advice after sharing that she’d sensed my brain was too full to relax. That pesky monkey mind, it seems, has followed me into this new stage of life.
I’m hardly the first new mum to struggle with anxiety – or anything else that comes with the gift of a newborn. Forgetting to eat. Not having time to shower. Dealing with a battered nervous system and an equally worse-for-wear pelvic floor, all whilst trying to keep on top of the sterilising. But I was fully prepared to suffer in silence, thinking it was a rite of passage to just get on with it with a stiff upper lip. My bottom lip? Pretty wobbly to be honest. And it makes sense as to why; I left hospital with not a lot more than a handful of leaflets and a prayer. Oh, and a baby.
For many women it’s the same under-equipped story, and yet our martyr complex continues. In South Korea, however, they have been offering mothers comprehensive support by way of something truly glorious – and necessary – for years. The post-natal retreat.
Granted, it is an absolute privilege to have access to this level of care in a five-star setting, but what’s important is that the rest of the world is now grasping what they have long since prioritised in other cultures – a tradition of looking after the mum’s wellbeing as well as the baby’s. They even have a name for it in Korea: Baek-il, where they hunker down for 100 days, celebrating on the 100th. Similarly, in Latin America, they remain at home doing “la cuarentena” (quarantine), being pampered for 40 days while members of the community do their chores and bring them food. After all, they do say it takes a village. So when post-natal depression could be looming, and you feel somewhat adrift or isolated, how incredible to have the option to check in to a judgement-free space (with your baby, husband and nanny if you so wish) where you’re both pampered and prepared for life beyond a luxury suite. A souped-up version of that village, if you like.
Blissful Beginnings is the UAE’s foray into such a facility – and let me tell you, they deserve a medal for services to women. Founder Sandrine Chaker-Bechet’s time in the corporate world gave her an unflattering window into how unforgiving it can be for new mums, ultimately causing her to leave banking and set up this new venture. Her passion for genuinely wanting to empower mothers is palpable, and underscores every tiny detail of the programme – starting with her curation of a magical collective of female caregivers. From Dr Soulaf, the lactation and nutrition expert, to Sylvie, the parenting coach, everyone is vetted through Sandrine’s discerning lens. Each has over 10 years of experience. Each is a specialist, not a generalist. And each is as brilliant as the last, making this the Harvard of parenting universities, with the added bonus of one-on-one time with the tutors you personally hand-pick depending on your needs. Holistic wellness counselling? Tick. Postpartum coaching? Sure. Sleep routine magician? Just say the word. They even offer a nanny who is on-hand 24/7 should you require it, giving you the option to sleep a full night on the hotel’s delicious Ploh pillows. Not for everyone, but also not to be sniffed at when your body needs serious recovery.
I don’t mind admitting that I cried with relief about two hours after checking in. It could have been the lavender bath that was drawn for me, the tea that was drunk overlooking the ocean whilst cuddling my baby, or the room-service dinner that I ate with my partner in the fluffiest of bathrobes. (The menus are nutrient-dense and specially designed to nourish a depleted body, whether you’re looking for a lactation menu or a weight-management one). You don’t even need to arrive with much more than just you and the baby, as the suites are
fully decked out with everything from nappies to little lactation cookies, meaning you can stay for anything up to 40 days.
Primarily, though, I cried because I felt comforted. They had hacked a part of motherhood for me which I’d unconsciously been fretting over – finding a team of experts that I didn’t have to spend weeks tearfully hunting for (literally) in the dark. Often at 3am. Some I hadn’t even realised I needed. And why would I? I’d never done this before, plus – as Rana told me as we were wrapping up my reiki session – this is a very different type of motherhood to our mums’ and grandmothers’. So often, the support we need is lacking. The village is absent. And since we were raised to believe we could have (and do) it all, it’s little wonder we feel so overwhelmed when we try to figure it all out with just our partners – as amazing as they may be.
Sandrine’s wish for Blissful Beginnings is that new mums leave feeling secure, confident and energised – the last being a notoriously tall order. But full credit to her – she has curated a profoundly meaningful experience for women, at the most important time in their lives. That’s pretty extraordinary. To have it all in the luxury of a five-star hotel? Well, that’s just the cherry on top.
For more information, visit www.blissfulbeginnings.ae
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s Junior Spring 2024 issue