Carla DiBello On Burn Out, Hustle Culture And Re-Aligning Her Priorities in 2023
The entrepreneur and celebrity style insider on making life (and career) choices from a place of purpose and intention
I opened my calendar to an abundance of text, each day inundated with back-to-back appointments, all of which might be considered valuable for someone in my line of business. From introductions to lead identification and deal making, each meeting held the potential to set me up professionally for the year. This same time last year, I had packed in every single meeting or event that presented itself to me, regularly leaving my home at 8am to often return no earlier than midnight. It was a non-stop, fast-paced, and intense season. And it was fruitful, forging incredible opportunities and exciting projects that propelled my team to a new level of achievement.
Sitting in front of my calendar this year however, I paused, weighing each appointment’s potential against the weight in my gut. But despite the countless opportunities promised by way of saying yes to each and every one, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I simply didn’t have it in me to go full throttle yet again.
A younger me, and even the version of myself from only five years ago, would have been completely aghast at my decision to decline one of the most pivotal events of the year, sitting out while elite players of the industry came together to lay the groundwork for action. The old me would have a crippling fear of missing out. I would have pushed aside all signs of exhaustion to embed myself in the centre of activity. But if there’s anything that I’ve learned from years of non-stop hustle, not to mention experiencing firsthand the aftermath of burnout, it is that action without wholeness is never truly fruitful.
The world has a natural rhythm that guides every aspect. It fluctuates from season to season, bursting with new growth and energy in the spring and summer, and slowing the pace to restore and refocus in the autumn and winter. Every living thing on the planet, from plants to animals, follows this rhythm except for the modern human race. When the cycle slows, we become impatient, insisting upon maintaining – or even increasing – our current rate of ‘doing.’
The further we have pushed ourselves into hustle culture, the further we have removed ourselves from our inherent way of being. It’s no wonder that today’s human race rushes around in a constant state of being burnt out, increasingly departed from any sense of purpose.
There’s a Russian proverb that summarises this conundrum quite well, that says, “If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.”
I like this quote because it’s a reminder that not everything that is offered to us is actually for us. In other words, just because we have the opportunity to do something, doesn’t intrinsically mean we should do it – even if that opportunity is a good one. Slowing down the chase to hone in on a few objectives that truly nurture what we want from life is a challenging act in a society that constantly asks more from each of us.
“Action without wholeness is never truly fruitful,”
Carla DiBello
If no one sees what we are doing, if we aren’t constantly achieving instant results, it’s often perceived as unproductive. Our society has a pathological need to achieve. To accomplish, to be seen, to produce, to ‘do.’ But too often, we don’t really understand what it is that we should be doing, unless we actively take the time to ‘un-do.’
Just as the seasons guide all other living beings on the planet, I am my best when I follow suit. Slower periods of stillness are used to re-centre while turning to moments of quiet helps to tune out white noise.
Maya Angelou once wrote, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” And the same goes for all of us.
Glancing at the calendar one last time, I began to delete the events that did not align with a direct goal, keeping only a select amount on the books. Everything that I needed for a metamorphosis could either be found there or could be resourced from within my own cocoon. Come the change of season, there would be plenty of time to spread my wings and take to the sky.
Photography: Efraim Evidor. Styling: Imogene Legrand. Carla Wears: Jumpsuit, Dhs2,570, Serrb; Shoes, Carla’s Own. Hair: Sisters Beauty Lounge. Make-Up: Sarah Saya. With thanks to the Five Palm Jumeriah.