Carla DiBello On ‘Quiet Happiness’ And What We Could Learn From Gen Z | A Very Modern Role Model
The entrepreneur and celebrity style insider journeys inward and gives her spin on what it takes to achieve real happiness, the right way
It’s intriguing to me how many of life’s truisms hold up, regardless of how much progress takes place throughout centuries of change. It’s indicative, perhaps, of how, no matter what we strive to overcome, human nature tends to remain the same at its core. While most people know the phrase, not everyone knows that it was William Shakespeare who first said, “All that glitters is not gold.” The quote comes from a scene from the Merchant of Venice in which three suitors are asked to open the right box out of three (one gold, one silver, and one plain lead) with clues inscribed atop each, in order to win Portia’s hand.
The winning suitor considers the implications of each inscription and recognises that what many desire may not be the right choice for him. It’s the inscription on the plain lead box that resonates with the winning suitor, whose inscription hints that he who opens the box must be willing to take a risk and give all he has. The suitor’s choice of the lead box reflects his understanding of the truth that real happiness requires we go beyond superficial desires and societal expectations, focusing inward on personal choices and authentic connections. Written over 400 years ago, this holds just as true in today’s era of comparison culture and public display.
There’s a fashion term that nods to this idea. Unlike ostentatious displays of wealth, quiet luxury focuses on quality, attention to detail, enduring styles instead of trends, and genuine personal enjoyment over the need for public validation. And in today’s age of social media and the tendency to prominently showcase one’s life and achievements, one could apply the same concept to happiness as a whole.
The idea of ‘quiet happiness’ emphasises the internal journey, personal connections, and the pursuit of genuine contentment over external validation and conspicuous displays of success. It’s a call to find fulfillment in the nuances and subtleties of life and to share those moments authentically – and not with the whole world, but with whom we have true connections.
I think Gen Z is starting to shift this way naturally, in how they use social media. Unlike millennials, who took to vainglorious posting as though it was actual sustenance, Gen Z tends to post more infrequently, preferring the temporary nature of Snapchat or Instagram stories over permanent, in-feed posts, and deleting whenever and whatever they feel like.
They focus more on moments over milestones, emotions over achievements, and vulnerable and unique authenticity over edited perfection. They know very well that all that glitters is not gold, and that true happiness sometimes requires breaking from the group and braving a swim upstream.
When I consider how to apply the concept of quiet happiness to my own life, it means digging deep to find an identity for myself that is not tied to outside factors such as looks, assets, or careers, which believe me, I know is easier said than done. But when it comes down to it, I think we all would prefer that deep-down warmth that comes from true, sustainable joy as opposed to chasing the next dopamine hit that seems to fade as quickly as it comes.
In a world that glorifies the glitter and outward displays of success, material possessions, and conventional markers of achievement, it is an act of rebellion to recognise and appreciate the genuine, unfiltered aspects of life and cultivate our sense of fulfillment from within. Real and lasting happiness is best when it comes from ordinary, everyday experiences, with mindfulness at the front and centre. Those are the moments that make us who we are. And it’s what will keep us going, decade after decade, even if our social media feeds say otherwise.
Photography: Efraim Evidor. Styling: Imogene Legrand. Carla Wears: Jacket, Dhs5,990, Moschino. Bodysuit; Jeans, Both Carla’s Own. Shoes, Dhs2,185, Amina Muaddi. Hair: Sisters Beauty Lounge. Make-Up: Tilly Newman. With Thanks To Jumeirah Al Qasr.
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s February 2024 issue.