UN Women’s Susanne Mikhail Eldhagen On The Multifaceted Dimensions Of Being A Main Character In Your Life
Susanne Mikhail Eldhagen, UN Women Regional Director for the Arab States, and Harper’s Bazaar Arabia columnist, looks into the need for women to cultivate a character that encompasses, and celebrates,a myriad of facets
A main character, who is liked or even loved, whether in fiction or real life, might at any time transform or distort into something completely different. From being a hero and an inspiration they may change into an odd creature that frights and appalls. The core characteristics that initially appealed so profoundly, seem suddenly to transform into a distorted version of its original self: strength transformed to authoritarianism, honesty evolved into brutal offensiveness, humour converted into hurtful sarcasm. Interestingly, it seems that those with most accentuated personality traits, seem most at risk to turn into caricatures or distortions of their initial selves. And this is really not surprising, as a number of studies that have focused on traits that are deemed most appealing, seems to encompass a great deal of nuances and rich characteristic facets.
However the importance of “but” is not to be underestimated. We tend to be attracted by personalities that show confidence but humbleness, outgoingness but still a genuine listener, honesty but sensitive to others emotions, caring but not possessive. These multi-dimensional characteristics are increasingly understood by psychologists as not exclusive but rather complementary. That depth of character seems to make us not only richer as individual human beings but eventually more in tune with our immediate surroundings; family, friends and collective society overall, as different settings need us to apply different sets of traits.
It is therefore unfortunate that we, specifically women, might at times feel pressured or even forced to abandon the “but”, in an aspiration to show strength, confidence or authority in our professional or even personal life. Because, it is exactly that richness in traits that seem to be the formula behind professional success and equally in building longlasting personal relations with friends and loved ones. When companies and employers are enquired about the most critical skills when recruiting, the “but” is repeatedly referred to. Some of the most referred characteristics are, for example, critical thinking and with that the ability to define and analyse challenges and bottlenecks, but at the same time showing high levels of problem-solving abilities. Similarly, the aptitude to work independently is highly valued, yet equally important are the skills of collaboration. In an article published earlier this year, companies of today seem profoundly tuned in to the need for a work force that shows flexibility, adaptability, and agility. And thematic expertise is more often than not coupled with a “but” on curiosity to learn and share new ideas.
I have myself realised that in my own personal life, the Main Character is seldom a homogenous persona, but rather someone who, too, embodies that full spectrum of colours. Fierce, but thoughtful; strong but vulnerable; opinionated but a great listener, funny but kind. With those multifaceted dimensions, my Main Character is in no risk of caricaturising. She will not allow for distortion.
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s June 2023 issue.