New Year, Knew Who? Ruwaida Abela Northen On Bittersweet New Beginnings
The new year makes Bazaar Arabia columnist Ruwaida Abela Northen feel that change is necessary – even if it’s tinged with loss
A week before my birthday in October, I was in a meeting where the conversations drifted between business and life while drinking Turkish coffee. When I finished mine, my date couldn’t help but peek into my cup. She tilted it toward the light, studied the dark residue, and smiled. “You’re making space,” she said. “There’s something big shifting in your life; new chapters, bold decisions. There’s a cluster near the handle that looks like a wing or feather, wings on the rim suggest you’ve recently freed yourself from a weight.”
I remember sitting there, silent, the bitterness of the coffee still on my tongue. I’d just walked away from someone I thought was a friend, a battle I didn’t see coming. One that left me questioning my instincts and wondering whether closeness always comes with a price. That reading stayed with me for weeks. Not because I suddenly believed in fortune-telling (I am already a believer, obvs), but because it felt like the universe had found a way to tell me everything was going to be okay.
Every January, we talk about beginnings. New year, new habits, new energy, new versions of us. But no one talks about the endings that happen before these beginnings. Last year, I was forced to make decisions. They manifested themselves as a series of small, deliberate silences. I stopped chasing what didn’t feel right. I stopped explaining myself to those committed to misunderstanding me. I stopped saying “yes” when every part of me meant no. Because peace comes from removing what doesn’t fit anymore. Everything gets re-evaluated. You start asking the hard questions: Does this person still add light to my life? Am I proud of the way I show up in this story? If the answer is no, you should quietly let go.
Some people don’t take well to exits. They notice when your texts get shorter or when your energy feels detached. They’ll say you’ve changed – and they’ll be right. Because change is choosing not to shrink to fit the old mould of who someone else needs you to be. Growth will always offend those who preferred you smaller. I’ve made space, ruthlessly, unapologetically. I’ve deleted numbers I no longer need. I’ve stopped answering calls that drain me. I’ve unfollowed (gasp) people whose energy feeds on mine like a vampire. It’s emotional hygiene. The same way we tidy our homes, we need to declutter our lives, remove the dust that settles quietly and suffocates us slowly.
Of course, letting go isn’t always elegant. It can be awkward, messy, and even lonely. You’ll second-guess yourself. You’ll wonder if you were too harsh, too detached, too quick to walk away. But eventually, the peace that follows will feel right. And in that space, something extraordinary happens. New people arrive; the kind who match your energy, who speak your language without needing translation, who celebrate your boundaries instead of resenting them. The universe never leaves empty space unfilled. It waits for you to make room.
We romanticise beginnings too much. We talk about goals, visions, and lists as if becoming ‘better’ is a project plan. When I look back at 2025, I don’t see a highlight reel of achievements (even though I achieved seven out of 10 goals on my vision board). What I see instead are boundaries drawn, energy reclaimed, and self-respect restored. I see the heavy people I stopped carrying, conversations I didn’t chase, closure I stopped waiting for, and moments where I walked away from what I wanted but didn’t really need. I even went to a private Hermès sale and bought nothing. Growth looks different on everyone.
We often think that the new year is about what we want to gain, be it success, love, peace or validation. I found that it’s about what we’re willing to lose. Making space means trusting that what’s gone had to go. After all, nothing grows in a garden that’s overgrown.
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From the Harper’s Bazaar Arabia January 2026 issue