UAE-Based Consultant And Expert Julie Mallon On How Sleep Can Be A Game-Changer For Everyone

From new parents to workaholics, getting a good night’s rest could be the secret to success on a number of different fronts

In a society that is always ‘on’, it is no wonder getting kids and parents to bed at a decent hour has become the ultimate luxury. Indeed, establishing healthy sleep routines for parents and children is one of the hardest things to pin down and one of the most crucial, explained Julie Mallon, a sleep expert and consultant. While working as a midwife, Julie, a mother of three daughters, realised she had the potential to rescue overtired new parents by helping them adjust to their new lives and role. The experience also inspired her to pursue child health and development and study the negative impact of sleep deprivation on a scientific level. Today, as a member of the International Maternity and Parenting Institute and founder of the Nurture to Sleep consultancy, she offers a holistic approach to developing healthy sleep habits for the whole family, through all stages of development. Here, she shares with Harper’s Bazaar Arabia some of her key tips.

How did you first become fascinated with the field of sleep health?

I think the first time I realised the importance of sleep was when a friend’s child wouldn’t sleep until nine or ten o’clock at night and they both suffered terribly. I promised
myself that I wouldn’t do that with my children. But I would say the turning point or the moment I became fascinated by the subject, was when I was a private Health Visitor in Kuwait and most parents came to me in a crisis. Due to the sheer number of people coming to me, desperate for help, I had to master my understanding of the subject and provide them with practical solutions. To do this, I had to know the theory of sleep inside out and this started my path to learning.

You have helped hundreds of new parents deal with sleep issues they face with their newborn children. What are some of the bad habits they usually tend to have without even realising it?

One of the first bad habits that affects a baby’s entire attitude towards sleep is sleep association. For example, if we begin by rocking our child to sleep then they will require rocking every time because they associate the movement with falling asleep. This dependency on outside actions means that babies are not able to develop their own self-soothing techniques – which have to be learnt with gentle guidance and support.

Sleep is not intuitive, but in its purest form is a learnt behaviour. Learning to fall asleep independently includes developing self- settling practices. There are both negative and positive sleep associations and ‘sleep props’ such as being walked in a stroller, being sung to, a bath or being placed in a cot. Developing healthy sleep association is helpful but a ‘sleep prop’ can lead to parents becoming exhausted and your baby being overtired.

As newborns grow, their sleep patterns change. How can parents effectively navigate this fast-paced evolution?

The first year of a child’s life is so full of change and so parents are often unprepared. For example, it is not until a child is approximately 12 weeks do they start having an understanding of night and day (when the very important sleep hormone melatonin is released into the body in the evening). Also, at 12 weeks the brain is 64 per cent larger than it was at birth and doubles in size in the first year. I also find it fascinating that a 2-year-old’s brain is about 20 per cent smaller than an adult brain but has 50 per cent more synapses! I think we often underestimate the impact of sleep deprivation on new parents. Therefore to navigate this fast-paced evolution there are two factors that will reduce the impact of this change; firstly the parents should ensure that they self-care so they are in the best position mentally and physically look after their little one, and secondly, that they have an awareness of the changes in relation to their child’s sleep that will occur so that parents can ‘respond’ and not ‘react.’

In terms of self-care, if you’re getting enough sleep then you’re going to be better at fulfilling your role as a new parent. To do this, I recommend sleeping while your baby sleeps – wherever possible reducing caffeine and screen time – so you can fall back to sleep more easily when your sleep is disrupted in the middle of the night, skipping household chores in favour of sleep, sharing night-time baby duties and entrusting the help of family and friends while taking full advantage of parental leave.

What are some key steps or information you wish all new parents were aware of before they take their baby home from the hospital?

Families need to consider all biological and lifestyle factors in figuring out what will work best for themselves and their babies. While the emphasis in the early months is very much about safe sleep (when the risk of sudden infant death syndrome is highest) we should also help families think about other aspects of sleep in the period between 3 and 6 months: Establish good sleep foundations, with an early bedtime, and consistent bedtime routines.

I also think parents are unaware of how capable our babies are of learning and arrive in this world with the most tremendous capacity to learn. Therefore we need to be very cognisant of the behaviours we deliver to our children. Are we helping them grow or are we creating a dependency that is not sustainable?

Babies love routine and predictability and this helps a baby feel safe and secure. A bedtime routine, which serves as a social cue that it is time for your baby to sleep for a longer stretch, can be established as early as 6 weeks. This does not need to be a rigid routing but a gentle and flexible organic one. A newborn bedtime routine might involve changing your baby into pyjamas, swaddling him, feeding him, reading to him and singing songs to him or her. When parents are able to create a predictable routine for a baby – or as predictable as it can be in the early days – babies start to understand the ow of their day and what to expect next.

You also work with adults to restore their sleep hygiene and their positive relationship with sleep. What does that entail exactly?

The science of sleep is still very new and having a common-sense approach will support both a healthy relationship around sleep and developing really good sleep hygiene.

Sleep hygiene refers to healthy sleep habits. Good sleep hygiene is important because of how crucial getting good sleep is for your mental and physical health, as well as your overall quality of life. I often refer to the three pillars of health – nutrition, exercise and sleep. However, sleep impacts both and without sleep the other aspects of health are severely compromised. Therefore, your behaviours during the day – not just before you go to bed – can affect how well you sleep. Your food and drink choices, schedule, evening routine, and many other activities all play a part in your ability to sleep and sleep quality.

To restore sleep hygiene, I work with my clients to ensure that they limit screen time before bed, stop consuming caffeine (again, it depends on the individual) after midday and that their room is cool and dark. I also recommend creating a positive sleep routine, which could include lighting a candle, reading or using a journal to offload your thoughts.

I think it is also worth noting how we use sleep trackers and to be aware of how they can cause and create anxiety around sleep. In fact, this is known as orthosomnia and is compounded by the rise in digital sleep trackers.

Why do you think so many adults struggle with falling asleep, or when they wake up, never feeling rested?

Modern-day living is the biggest reason for poor sleep and society is always ‘on’ as is our brains. This translates into the main reasons why adults struggle to fall asleep – overstimulation – whether this is stress, caffeine or screen time. Stress can flood the body with cortisol and adrenaline, meaning you can’t switch off. Similarly, screen time delays the release of the sleep hormone melatonin, making it difficult to fall asleep, whereas caffeine prevents adults from having a deep sleep by raising their heart rate.

Finally, lifestyle can also affect your sleep as if you don’t go to sleep at the same time every night, you are not giving your body and mind enough time to rest. A consistent sleep routine synchronises your internal body clock so you feel sleepy at the same time every night.

There are those that say that they only need a few hours of sleep and they are good to go. Is this true, or do we all really need to get at least 7 hours a night?

Sleep is about the individual and recognising that we all have different sleep needs. It’s about being curious about how we feel when we wake up in the morning – do we need an alarm clock? If we do, that suggests we need more sleep. I encourage all my clients to get a minimum of 7 and a maximum of 9 hours. Lifestyle plays a really important factor. If you wake up tired, low in energy and unready to face the day, then that suggests you need more sleep. It’s important to recognise that you can’t make up for lost sleep. It’s not like a bank where you build up a de cit and pay it back. Our bodies are not like that. You need to get enough sleep consistently.

We are starting a new year, what should our sleep resolution be for 2022?

I feel life today is more fast-paced than ever before and I also believe there is so much pressure to do this and not do this. Whatever we choose to do around sleep has to be manageable and work in baby steps. I think the best resolution is to give sleep the credit and attention it deserves, recognising that “sleep is not a luxury but a biological necessity” to quote Matthew Walker. There has been this over- glamorisation of ‘sleeping when you’re dead’ but actually evidence shows us that not sleeping drastically reduces your lifespan.

When you are well-slept, you look and feel better, make better choices and are more able to deal with life’s challenges. To do this, I recommend that all my clients create a positive and enjoyable sleep routine so that sleep is associated with enjoyment and rest. My favourite thing to do is wind down by lighting a candle and reading a good book. This very simple act promotes the ow of melatonin and helps prepare the body and brain for a better quality of sleep.

From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s January 2022 issue