Phones at The Table? When Should You Leave A Party? Bazaar Arabia’s Guide To Etiquette Answers All Your Questions

With events season in full swing, we share the cliff notes on how to be polite company when socialising

Phones on the table during dinner, when to leave a party and adding a friend to (another) WhatsApp chat; Dubai’s most talented (and well-mannered) tastemakers, creatives and entrepreneurs share their words of wisdom on modern-day etiquette in the Middle East.

Olivia Phillips; Editor in Chief, Harper’s Bazaar Arabia Group

• It is embarrassing for all involved to pore over the bill after a meal with friends, doing pedantic calculations on your iPhone over who had what. Split the bill evenly (like a grown-up) and leave safe in the knowledge that people aren’t gossiping about you on the way home. And if they are, at least it won’t be about that.
• Parking your car – however impressive it may be – across multiple spaces succeeds in nothing but exposing exactly how awful you are.
• If you insist on leaving a voice note, brevity is key. Under 20 seconds is preferable. Longer than two minutes is called a phone call.
• Selling Sunset is not a blueprint for how one should dress in the office. There is a time and a place for revealing ensembles and neither is in the workplace. Put it away.

Dipesh Depala; Co-Founder and Managing Partner, The Qode – an Independents Group company

• It is never appropriate or in good taste to wear gowns to the races. Much less gowns with hats or fascinators.
• In a city where sandals and open-toed footwear are a fact of life, make sure to spare us any feet-related nightmares by keeping them well groomed and in tip ‘toe’ condition.
• When walking in a mall, have the courtesy not to meander sluggishly like a lazy river. Consider that there may be people behind you who may have a quicker pace or urgency to pass you. Why can’t people walk in a straight line?!
• Not every Birkin is appropriate for every occasion. As often witnessed in this city, a big Birkin at an elegant dinner or cocktail party is a huge faux pas, and very probably a faux bag!
• When someone stops their car for you to cross the road, at least have the courtesy and education to acknowledge them with a wave, or a verbal thank you, or even the peace sign. I can’t remember the last time anyone did this. In fact, it’s mostly the opposite, where bizarrely I have often been at the other end of a dirty look instead of a thank you!

Kitty Fox McGregor; Entrepreneur and Founder of Pardus Consilio

• When dressing in the Middle East, I believe subtle sophistication works. Modesty and confidence in your style without exposing too much. A flowing Pucci kaftan or silk palazzo pants always work, silks and lighter fabrics are perfect for the heat. In Dubai people do dress up, so investing in a few versatile luxury keys pieces is always a good idea.
• Be complimentary of your host’s home. Focus on the positive aspects even if the décor is not to your taste, highlight an item, a piece of art or furniture. Be respectful of cultural differences; in different countries, others’ homes may differ from yours.
• Don’t offer advice on how you might change anything, (or start moving furniture items around!) unless specifically asked. This may appear rude and disrespectful.
• Always bring a gift for the host of the party. I try to consider where they are from and try to bring something from my own country, something unique that I hope they do not already have or cannot easily get – nothing overextravagant, just something thoughtful. When returning from London, a favourite of mine is to gift beautifully packaged English biscuits from Fortnum & Mason. Or when travelling to London, I love to take incense and perfume oils from this region.
• Don’t overstay at a party, especially if it’s at someone’s home. Exiting like a ‘dog-in-the-fog’ (a subtle exit without drawing too much attention to it) is totally acceptable once you have thanked your host. There is absolutely nothing worse than a party barnacle!

Sofiane Si Merebet; Artist

• When invited to a party, never ask who will be there. It will put your host in an awkward situation and might create a weird dynamic. Go and enjoy.
• Bring books to your host. Beyond flowers and candles, books are a great way to share a part of yourself and your universe. It can be literature or a nice photography coffee table book. We can never have enough books!
• Normalise eating with hands – especially for dishes which are made to be eaten with them. Hummous or other dips should be eaten with bread and hands.

Ajaz Sheikh; Group CEO of The Arts Club

• If someone opens a good bottle of whiskey after dinner for you to try, (especially if it’s over 21 and Japanese or vintage), savour it politely, but decline the next. There is really no need to finish the whole bottle. Remember the ‘leave earlier’ rule.
• If you decide to clean your windshield whilst driving, please make sure that there is nobody behind you, as your water spray will stain the car behind you.
• Never be rude to any employees, anywhere. They are hardworking people just trying to do their job.
• There should be no cause for smoking around people who are eating, even if it’s on a terrace and especially with children around. Some people sit on a terrace to enjoy clean fresh air.
• Do not wear garments heavily adorned with logos, regardless of how costly they may be.
• Don’t call people you have not met before (and who may not have your number saved), but politely check in ahead of time with a message to see if they are free.
• Know thy host. Don’t bring any gifts, show up on time and don’t outstay your welcome (always leave early).
• Don’t call anyone after 6pm, unless they are family or close friends.

Eileen Wallis; Managing Partner at Wallis & Senior Communications Advisor

• My life mantra for enjoying the hospitality of others, improving personal and professional relationships, and even enhancing workplaces, can be summarised as: Leave things better than you found them.
• As a guest, this approach means deliberately not making more work for your host or hostess, i.e., bringing along flowers which need to be cut and arranged, and instead actually seeking out opportunities to make their lives easier before and during the event.
• Send an orchid, a chilled bottle of bubbles, or even some interesting books around to them on the morning before your arrival.
• If you’re staying over, arrange to make dinner or brunch (including purchasing all ingredients and cleaning up after) and proactively look for things that need to be done around the house. Run a load of beach towels in the washer, walk the dog and fix the hostess a drink while she’s checking on what’s in the oven or the host is grilling your steak.
• Look for ways to be inclusive. This goes for both personal and professional events – there will always be people standing around the periphery who may not know other attendees as you do. Be comfortable finding a light-hearted topic (anything other than ‘what do you do?’ It’s tedious) that expands the circle of discussion to include anyone on the edges so everyone feels more engaged.

Nazli Sonmez; Chief Brand Officer, Rikas Group

• In an age of digital communication, be mindful when texting or messaging and be aware of tone and context. Miscommunication can easily happen through screens, so consider whether you are using the right words to convey the right intentions or emotions.
• Prioritise in-person meetings over digital ones. Listening is key to conversation, as is eye contact to engage fully with each other rather than checking your phone every minute.
• Put your phone away during face-to-face discussions!
• Gracious hosting needs to feel effortless and authentic. Simple but elegant décor along with a delicious and heart-warming meal prepared with love and passion are far more appreciated than extravagant displays and unnecessary extravaganzas.
• Rather than showcasing all your wardrobe all at once, emphasise a chic and elegant look – classic and timeless pieces that never go out of style. Choose quality over quantity. A simple pair of studs or a vintage watch can elevate your outfit in just the right way.

Benn Davey; Entrepreneur, CEO & Founder of Go flower Middle East and Go Flower LA

• Elevate your gratitude with style. Instead of taking flowers to a dinner party or event, send a chic bouquet the next day. This way the host gets to appreciate the gesture post-dinner party frenzy.
• The art of being fashionably late (but not too late): show up just late enough to seem busy, but not so late that people think you don’t own a watch. Think ‘gracefully tardy’ not ‘oh no, they’re here already?
• Always RSVP, even if it’s not your thing. Remember, RSVPing is like sending a message with your outfit: clear and confident. Ghosting an invite can leave the wrong impression.
• Selfies are fun, but life is happening in real time. There’s nothing chic about being glued to your screen when you’re part of the action live.
• Sending a thank you text is nice, but a handwritten note on luxurious stationery? That’s unforgettable and oh-so-chic.
• When attending a dinner party, don’t overstay your welcome. Two hours after dessert is served is the polite exit time.

Ceebo Shah; Founder, Creative Clinic

• There is a French exit, Irish exit, and now a Dubai exit. Instead of sneaking out of the back door, let the host know you have two other events to attend, but you made theirs a priority. Then enjoy the rest of your night with your cats in bed.
• You have until 1pm to cancel plans, after that you’re stuck with them. This gives ample time for them to rearrange or invite another friend.
• When complimenting something in a home, don’t mention you’ve seen it somewhere before. Just appreciate it for what it is.
• When out for dinner, all individuals should graciously compete to pay for the entire bill. Of course, this doesn’t apply if there are 20 of you.
• Don’t wait for a special occasion to gift someone – gift randomly. It’s always more memorable.
• When borrowing a piece of clothing, make sure it’s dry cleaned before it’s sent back, even if it’s just a T-shirt!

Rami Al Ali; Fashion Designer

• Remember, fashion is an art form, but wearing a statement piece shouldn’t make you the statement of the evening.
• Keep it elegant and avoid outfits that could double as a conversation starter.
• In Dubai’s vibrant social scene, it’s about making a statement with grace, not volume. . The only acceptable time to have your phone at the table is if it’s ringing with a call from the chef to ask if you’re enjoying the meal. Otherwise, let’s keep our attention where it belongs – on the conversation and the exquisite food in front of you.
• If you’re bringing a gift, make sure it’s not something that might be re-gifted.
• Choose something thoughtful and personal that reflects your appreciation. And remember, always compliment the host on their home – sincerely, not just to be polite. A little genuine flattery goes a long way.

Snow Feinan Li; Entrepreneur

• As a host, every detail should show that you have thoughtfully prepared for your guests. Whether you hire a chef or cook the meal yourself, it is crucial to ensure that the food is delicious and prepared with care and love.
• The effort you put into the food and the overall arrangement of your home should reflect your genuine hospitality.
• As a guest, showing respect for your host’s schedule and preparations is of top priority. Punctuality is a must. Additionally, if you know your host’s home has wooden floors, avoid wearing high heels to prevent any damage.
• When hosting guests at home, the music playlist should be carefully selected to match the atmosphere of the gathering. The right music can enhance the ambiance and make your guests feel more comfortable and welcomed.

Joey Ghazal; Entrepreneur

• Everyone always ends up in the kitchen at a party. Make it the focal point with drinks and food. And get someone to help you clear up and keep the space orderly.
• Do not get experimental with dishes. This is not the time to get creative. Keep it simple. Make something that is tried, tested and true. You’ll have more time to spend with your guests.