While the custom in January is to set New Year’s resolutions for the year ahead, I also like to use it as a time to reflect – both on how far I’ve come and where I want to go. While I used to set more traditional resolutions, such as reading more books, getting to the gym regularly etc, this year, the kinds of resolutions I was drawn to all had the integral theme of achieving clarity. And so achieving clearness itself, as a broader emphasis, has taken the place of my annual resolution.
But how does one take a concept such as seeking clarity and actually apply it to one’s life? I approach this question by looking back on some of my pivotal moments, re-examining desires and goals for those times, what drove them, and what I did to make them a reality.
Everyone has them – crucial turning points that are locked into your memory for one reason or another. These moments often come from being on the cusp of something new, and for me, are often marked with a forceful desire of some kind that eventually propelled me to take action.
I remember so clearly sitting in my room at my dad’s house in Florida after graduating high school, pouring over pictures of Los Angeles on the computer, daydreaming about what it would be like to actually live there. At the time, LA felt so far away and started as just a fantasy. But I hyper-focused on it – obsessed over it, even – and eventually, this desire for whatever life was waiting for me there fuelled me to pack my bags and move across the country with little to no money to my name.
Years later, after being a part of a successful production [Keeping Up With The Kardashians] and achieving a career that my high school-self could only have dreamed about, I remember a similar moment, sitting in my Marina del Rey apartment. I had the same sense of yearning, and felt somewhat unsatisfied with where I was and what I was doing. It’s funny how the things you once wished for more than anything in the world can so easily become just the norm once you’ve obtained them. And while gratitude is key (I will never forget those happy years or the excitement Kim and I felt while working together on KUWTK), it’s also important to acknowledge that new successes and new paths will lead to new dreams.
It was at this point in my life that I began regularly visiting the site Dubizzle, which is essentially the Craigslist of Dubai. Every time I would feel that urgency for something new bubble up inside me, I found myself perusing Dubizzle, dreaming of Dubai where I could start my own business and carve out a completely new life. The next thing you know, I set up a series of meetings, packed up my apartment, and flew halfway across the world to a brand new future.
Now whenever I see an ad for Dubizzle in Dubai, I think back to those days and remember that feeling and the power it had to take me to where I am now. Looking back on these moments and so many others like them, the thread that ties them all together was wanting something so badly that it gave me the courage to take a risk. There’s not a major secret to changing your life, but there is one simple truth: you actually have to do something about it.
These days, I sometimes feel that yearning again, but it’s not so much about finding a new life as it is about finding clarity in my true goals and transforming my career into a calling.
And if there’s any time of the year to pull the trigger, it’s right now. I often ask myself, what foot can I put forward? What risk can I take? And as of right now, I’m asking myself, ‘What’s the number one thing that I’m not doing at the moment that could give myself the clarity I seek?’ This is an ongoing question, as achieving clarity is an ongoing effort. My intention for this year is more of an evolution than a resolution, as to me, clarity is less about being perfect and more about staying connected with my internal dialogue. It’s about continuously asking myself that question, then taking the answer, and doing it. I like to think big picture, but when it really comes down to it, it’s those first small steps that make all the difference in the world.