Jay Shetty On Staying Motivated, Facing Fears And Life Post-Covid

The life coach extraordinaire is here to get you ready for a new season of the new normal

It’s been a tricky 18 months, but October 2021 sees the start of a new season and, for many, a return to normality. Travel restrictions are easing, the hot summer is slipping into the distance and it’s back to full-time in the office for most. However, after so long away from ‘normal’, this transition could prove overwhelming and at times tricky to navigate. But worry not, we’ve hired the services of Jay Shetty, one of the world’s most famous life coaches, to keep you on track. The former monk and New York Times best-selling author was in Dubai this summer facing some fears of his own as he took on the XLine Dubai Marina zip ride and a tandem skydive at Sky Dubai.

“Me and my wife have been trying to do more things together where we’re both out of our comfort zone,” Jay told Harper’s Bazaar Arabia. “It’s one of the practices that is healthy for our mind and body. If we don’t challenge them regularly, we can feel that sense of being stuck or stagnating. I promised myself I would never jump out of a plane but I’m so glad I did, it was out of this world and I’ve been told by people that Dubai is the best place to skydive.” Jay, who visits the UAE around three times a year, is currently enjoying success as the host of the world’s number one health and wellness podcast On Purpose, having chatted with everyone from Jessica Alba, Gisele Bündchen and Khloe Kardashian to Kobe Bryant, Novak Djokovic and Yuval Harari. He’s also launched Sama, a range of all-natural teas with his wife Radhi Devlukia-Shetty. We sat down for a cuppa with Jay to talk all things fear, careers and motivation…

You did a skydive in Dubai this summer, what advice can you share about facing your fears?

One of the reasons we feel fear is because we don’t have the three Cs: coaching, consistency and community. Coaching makes you feel comfortable: at Skydive Dubai, they pair you up with someone who’s going to jump with you, and this person coaches you through the whole process. Think about coaching in your life, if you’re scared of starting a business, getting into a relationship or of applying for a new job, coaching or someone walking you through every aspect of it makes it start to feel familiar. With consistency, from the moment I decided to do the skydive, I went online and I started watching videos on skydiving, and I’m not kidding you, I felt sick, but when you visualise what you’re going to go through before you go through it, you start relieving the pain. And then the final stage is community; you have to do it with other people. So if you think of starting a business, it’s not saying you have to start one with other people, you have to be around other people who are also starting a business. If you’re trying to go to the gym every day, you want to join and be accountable with someone else.

It’s the start of a new season, what tips do you have for returning to an office situation after so many months of remote work, or even starting a new job?

We’ve all been in the same position. So everyone’s feeling nervous, everyone’s feeling anxious, no one’s feeling confident. So, just remember that for the first time it’s a level playing field. Start with smaller groups that you feel comfortable around, as opposed to diving straight into being around lots of people that can be really overwhelming. Finally, it’s not weird to plan some interesting questions to ask people in advance or some interesting stories to tell. I think we worry that it’s not spontaneous or not natural, but actually, because we are so out of practice with social life, I think it’s okay to think of a few fun memories that you’ve experienced in the last three months that you’d love to share with people.

What advice do you have for readers who feel they’ve had less success with their careers or business due to COVID?

There’s five stages to every journey: learn, experiment, perform, struggle and thrive – it’s almost like a pyramid. We all want to be thriving all the time, we want to be in this top tiny little peak of this pyramid, every day of the year. And that peak of the pyramid is the tiniest because that’s when you win the awards, your business does really well, but that’s like the tiniest experience of anyone who’s successful. I always try to ask myself; Is this a year or season of learning, experimenting, performing or struggling? Knowing the season you’re in and committing to that really helps you disconnect from the desire to win.

So, how can we get motivated for another season of work?

A few years ago, I started reverse engineering why my life was going well and I realised that there were three things I was doing differently. Every year, I was doing something I love, doing something that I was learning from, and I was launching something new. So if you’re trying to find drive or get motivation back, it’s going to come from doing something you love this season – and figuring out how you can do more of that thing. The second one is learning, you only feel like you’re moving if you’re learning, and for so many people, if we’re not learning something new, we don’t feel motivated, so set yourself a learning challenge. And the final thing is something you are launching, because you need to feel a sense of nervousness, a feeling of excitement, and a sense of being out of your comfort zone again professionally.

How can we incorporate that into everyday work life?

Maybe it’s starting a new project at work or something extracurricular. I remember starting up a meditation and mindfulness community in my corporate job. I would lead these meditation sessions on top of my day job because I enjoyed it. I understand that not all people may be in the office, but it’s saying: what am I passionate about, and how can I bring it to work? What am I missing in my work life?

When do you know it’s time to leave a job?

When you feel you’re not learning anymore or there’s no room for growth. But I’d be careful with this one, because often we say, ‘I don’t love my work anymore, I don’t feel passionate about it’ – you’re not always going to feel passionate, but you might still be learning. When I was in the corporate world, I was learning so much about social media, the digital world, about strategy, about business that I would never have learned if I had left my corporate job earlier. I didn’t love what I did but I learned a lot from it.

Also, look at who’s in the company, who’s five years ahead of you. If you’re not inspired by that vision of where you can be in five years time, it might be time to leave. And notice how all of this is about you. I haven’t talked about hating your boss, you can even deal with that pressure when you feel you’re in the right place. And finally, it’s time to leave when you feel that you haven’t been able to create your own squad, if you’re feeling lonely or isolated and you’ve tried to build connections. It can be really difficult, especially if you’re going from a lonely workplace to a lonely home.

So, what do you love that you’re doing?

 I’m so grateful to have this amazing podcast called On Purpose. I get to sit down with some of the most incredible people in the world, we actually recorded my Will Smith interview in Dubai. So, whether it’s Jennifer Lopez or Alicia Keys, it’s being able to sit down with those people, that’s something I love doing.

What are you learning and launching this year?

I took up tennis, it’s a great pandemic and quarantine sport. I was going to public courts, and playing was great for my mind and great for my body. We were also learning about the tea industry for the launch of our new teas.

Tell us more about Sama…

I have a personal history with tea. My mum moved to London when she was 16, and had to build everything from scratch, so when I was born, she would drop me off to daycare and pick me up in the evening, and I remember every day we’d get home and before or after dinner we got some tea together. I realised my mum and dad didn’t have a lot of time because they were busy working and trying to take care of me and my sister, but they always gave us their presence and tea. We wanted to create something that not only tasted good, but made people feel good, gave them that feeling of warmth and presence, or indeed time to themselves.

 Find out more at jayshetty.me and samatea.com

Images courtesy of Jay Shetty, Getty Images

From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s October 2021 issue