Finding The Light: Ola Farahat On Hope, Resilience And Why She’s Proud To Share The Story Of Her Journey To Motherhood
The content creator and Instagram star sits down with Nina Catt to share her IVF story and reveals how she manifested her dreams into existence…
It’s 6:45am Monday morning and Content Creator Ola Farahat arrives to the set of our cover shoot with an undeniable spring in her step. Despite the early call time and being fresh off the back of attending Milan Fashion Week – where she was photographed front row at the shows of many of the fashion houses she’s linked to – she is ready to face the day. Oh, and she also moved house yesterday.
Reclining in the make-up chair while snapping sweet photographs of eight-month-old daughter Lily and instantly sharing them with her 1.3 million Instagram followers, the 33-year-old beams with pride, delighted for the duo to be appearing on their first magazine cover together.
As one of the Middle East’s most in-demand influencers thanks to her enviable ability to pull outfits together, at a quick glance from the outside, it’s easy to assume that life for Ola is one of privilege and plain sailing, with luxury brands queuing up to collaborate and a social media feed portraying a picture-perfect lifestyle. But once you peek beneath the surface, there’s a heart-wrenching cloud of darkness that surrounds the Canadian-Palestinian’s past few years… her struggle to become a mother.
“For as long as I can remember, I always knew that I wanted to be a mum,” she tells me, “I never thought that falling pregnant would be an issue. After almost three years of trying, I decided to see a specialist to check everything was ok.” It was then that Ola and husband, Hashim, discovered that IVF (in vitro fertilisation) would be the best option – advice she admits taking in her stride, assuming that “of course it would work” without a hitch.
Growing up in Ontario, Canada, Ola was surrounded by a nurturing family. “I had an amazing childhood. I lived in the suburbs and some of my fondest memories are from back then. I’ll never forget my eighth birthday. My mother threw me the most incredible party and everyone from my class showed up,” she smiles. “Mum and I just ‘get’ each other. She is the love of my life, we’re super-close. I’ll always remember how calm and loving my mother was, even during my teenage years. I hope I can be the same for Lily.”
Having spent years in the spotlight sharing her daily life with fans across various social media platforms, embarking upon a fertility treatment journey was a story Ola initially wanted to keep to herself. “I had this awful shame surrounding the subject,” she shares. Surprisingly, this is a common occurrence for many women, as fertility issues are frequently deemed as a taboo topic despite almost one in six couples facing challenges in the UAE, and according to The World Health Organisation, an estimated 186 million individuals are living with fertility issues, globally. Yet, the subject still feels so hushed. “I’m so glad I overcame my fear of being open about it. I’m proud of my journey. My wish is that I can give at least one other person hope because at one point, that’s all I wanted to hear,” she recalls. “I would literally search the internet looking for women who had posted positive stories.”
Opening up about her experience, Ola shared an emotional pregnancy reveal video to her YouTube channel with the intention of shining a light on her IVF journey – despite at many moments it being the hardest chapter of her life story to date. “The response I received from the video was so warm. A lot of women related and they got to see me in a new light.”
Revealing that the first round of IVF had resulted in a miscarriage, Ola shares that losing her pregnancy in 2020 at six weeks shook her world and affected her mental health in ways she could never have imagined. “For the first time in my life I dipped into a dark place,” she confesses, “I had started to make plans and think about what I wanted to name the baby. When I discovered that I had miscarried, I was devastated. My happiness and my world crumbled around me.”
Questioning whether she would ever be able to become a mother through carrying her own baby, Ola admits that she felt “numb” in the months that followed the miscarriage. “I felt like I couldn’t come out of that feeling, and I made the decision that I didn’t want to go through IVF again as it was just too painful. I wish someone had told me that IVF doesn’t always work. I don’t think we should step into it being negative or pessimistic, but it’s important to know IVF has a 40 per cent success rate [depending on the individual] and at the end of the day, it’s in God’s hands.”
Spending the next year and a half focusing on health and healing, Ola and Hashim eventually decided to try again but were informed there would be a low chance of success. “I went into the second IVF journey trying my best not to be attached to the outcome. The miscarriage crushed me so much that I felt I needed to prepare for the worst.”
IVF the second time was a different experience. “We had a different doctor who took a different approach. We had a positive start and got 13 eggs, which was a lot in comparison to the first time where we only got five.” She explains. But five days later Ola received a call from the specialist revealing that only one egg had been successfully fertilised – giving the couple just one chance.
After two weeks which felt like months, Ola discovered that implantation had succeeded. She was pregnant. While still trying to remain realistic, Ola remembers being overwhelmed with joy. The first three months were considered “high-risk” but as time passed, Ola tells me that she could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and in May of 2022, she welcomed her beautiful daughter, Lily.
“When I saw my daughter for the very first time I felt every emotion at once; confused, thrilled, shocked, excited. And I was exhausted! Those hormones really got me,” she recalls.
“After my miscarriage I turned to my journal. Writing helps me in manifesting, believing and holding on to hope. I wrote about my future daughter. I wrote about her eyes, her personality and what we would do together. I called her ‘baby Lily’. When I found out I was pregnant with a girl through my second attempt at IVF, I just had to call her Lily. And when I held her in my arms for the very first time, I knew the name was perfect.”
“I never really thought about the future before Lily. The most I would plan was my weekend. Becoming a mother has me planning for years ahead. I feel like I have a bigger purpose now, and that I want to make Lily proud.”
Today, nine months after becoming a mother, Ola is considering IVF again to gift her daughter a sibling, but for now, she is admiring watching her lovely Lily bloom. Life is good.
Editor & Interview: Nina Catt. Photography: Amer Mohamad. Styling: Laura Jane Brown. Make-up: Manuel Losada. Hair: Deena Alawaid. Senior Producer: Steff Hawker. Hair Assistant: Lindie Benade. Styling Assistant: Ugne Gelgotaite. Lighting Assistant: Yasir Ali. With thanks to Raffles The Palm Dubai
From the S/S23 issue of Harper’s Bazaar Arabia Junior