Carla Dibello On Why Spring Cleaning Your Mind Is The True Path To Clarity, Calmness and Control
“From negative feedback loops to too many obligations, the mental baggage we carry around with us can weigh us down, muddle our trajectory, and even take us fully off-course…”
This is the time of year when we usually freshen up our homes, purging unwanted items and updating and streamlining our spaces with the goal of welcoming spring with lightness and clarity. It’s a time of year I look forward to for this reason. But I do question if limiting spring cleaning efforts to just our home is doing ourselves an injustice, when applying the same concept to other aspects of our lives may be the greatest boost we could give ourselves.
The most clutter accumulates in our minds. From negative feedback loops to too many obligations, the mental baggage we carry around with us can weigh us down, muddle our trajectory, and even take us fully off-course. Given this aspect, setting aside a day to review our head space is one of the most productive things we could do for our sense of wellbeing, not to mention our careers.
Generally, I begin my mental spring clean by reviewing my list of yeses; in other words, what am I saying yes to that I shouldn’t be? These yeses weigh on our consciousness even when we aren’t aware they are and can drain us exponentially if we aren’t careful. From a favour to a friend of a friend to seemingly great opportunities that may not actually align with our goals, it’s human nature to get swept up in the millions of directions we can exert ourselves. But protecting our resources is also crucial to everything we do in life. After all, we each have limited resources, whether it feels like it or not.
Assessing which yeses we can turn into nos is an excellent way to take things off our plates to clear space for the things that matter. When I feel the emotional pull of wanting to hold onto a project or obligation that is not truly serving me, keeping perspective on the final outcome and how much time, energy, and effort it will take is often enough for me to make the right call.
Saying no can be difficult at first. It doesn’t always feel good to turn down potential colleagues or opportunities. However stringing people along will always feel worse. Learning a few techniques on how to say no can go a long way. One way to do this is to set boundaries for what you do and where your expertise lies, and stick to that. For instance if an opportunity arises that is not directly within my field, I will often respond with something along the lines of, “This sounds like a wonderful opportunity, however it’s not a sector that I am focused on or understand enough to be of assistance.” It might be surprising how much people will appreciate and be grateful for an honest ‘no’ over an empty ‘yes.’ And once those first few yeses successfully turn into nos, the weight lifts organically – and saying no becomes easier and easier.
Another area I like to refocus in a spring clean are my emotions. From friendships and lifestyle to business and money, our emotions are the first thing to shape our perspective and therefore direct our behaviour. Separating emotions from neutral concepts, like money, for example, can give us clarity to do what is best for us big picture-wise.
Some of the most impactful emotions that affect our outlook and the decisions we make are guilt, shame, fear, and envy. Women also tend to have more anxiety around money, which can affect how we earn, save, spend, and invest. Sitting with our emotions surrounding a topic like money can give us important insight into how it may influence our actions. If we feel fear or anxiety around a topic like money, there’s a large chance we won’t address concrete goals such as budget-setting or investment strategies. If we feel envy or even shame to a degree, it might be a good idea to check in on how and what we are spending. Are we buying something because it’s actually good for us in the long run? Or is it because of some kind of superficial status and our need to keep up with the neighbours? One major difference between those who appear wealthy and those who actually are is how they use their money. The truly wealthy spend far more on things that will make them richer and far less on assets that will depreciate over time.
When it comes to business, the same theme applies. What emotions are driving your goals within your business? What is your definition of success and where does it stem from? Assessing the ‘why’ behind your definition of success as well as your long-term goals will tell you a lot about what emotions are truly driving you. I hope spring cleaning your mind and emotions to align with your core focus and values will help to bring you the same clarity it does for me.
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s May 2021 issue
