UN Women’s Susanne Mikhail Eldhagen on How Equality In The Home And At Work Benefits All
The UN Women Regional Director for the Arab States, and Bazaar Arabia columnist, reflects on how a more equitable balance of home care could significantly help both men and women
Chubby feet tucked under a light blanket. Small feet. Hardly any movement. Deep breaths, lost in a cloud of dreams. Despite the run, the hurry, the hammering heart, Samer was once again late. Deflating under Adam’s small body, he questioned each minute of the last two hours. What if he had chosen the metro instead of the bus? But it is more expensive. What if he had left work a bit earlier? Not with the manager’s eyes piercing his back, like silver claws. What if had hadn’t taken the evening shift? He’d have to face the accusers, damning him for not being man enough to provide. Yet the cost of three jobs, his 5am to 9pm work hours, had taken a toll, mainly in stolen time. Moments not being experienced, memories not being crafted. Deprived seconds he could have spent with his son. For Samer, another day has passed without him being able to spend time with his child.
Samer is amongst the majority of men in the Arab region who want to spend more time with their children. A survey by UN Women conducted a couple of years ago in Morocco, Palestine, Egypt and Lebanon, with 10,000 men and women participants, showed this clearly to be the case. But despite this wish of men to spend more time with loved ones, in most Arab States it is still difficult to achieve.
One predominant reason is that income-bringing responsibilities push many men to take on several jobs to make ends meet. Yet an interesting set of factors is then put into motion, leading to both men and women losing out. For women this means bearing the burnt of care giving and domestic responsibilities, performing 4.7 times more unpaid care work than men – the highest female-to-male ratio anywhere in the world. Consequently, many women wanting to work and wishing to realise those dreams eagerly curated throughout their educational journey simply lack the time to engage in a profession. And lack income. Meaning in turn, that the dependency rate on the small part of the population that do work in paid employment outside the home, most of whom are men, is high. This leads to severe pressure on men, as the same study shows that half of men said they were stressed or ashamed to face their families because they didn’t have enough work.
Studies show that a more balanced nature of responsibility sharing – both unpaid care and paid work – benefits the family overall. Not only financially, but in terms of wellbeing and happiness. For our region a balanced approach would be to support the two thirds of women of working age that are not available for employment or stopped looking for a job due to unpaid care obligations. And to encourage men to fulfil their share of childcare and household responsibilities, noting that about 50 per cent of men in our region actually want to spend more time with their children. But until then, a generation of young men and women risk not being able to live as full a life as they’ve envisioned. And until then, Adam will see little of his father. And Samer will relive a continuous cycle of defeat. Entering a home, simply too late. Accepting to do no more than tucking his son’s feet under a light blanket.
From Harper’s Bazaar Arabia’s June 2022 issue.